Wasted Time
by BrokePerception
Summary: Set in 2.13 Resurrection. "I don't know if I will be able to see the end result of it all, and I just... wanted you to know the truth."


He squinted as he eyed her, sat in the rubble of what had been part of their Ark. He felt weak, so weak. He only listened to the warm voice that told him to stay with her because as long as he kept his eyes open even though they threatened to fall shut, Marcus Kane could see her, the woman he loved and had for as long as he could remember. Abby's parents and his had been the best of friends since their childhood, and so the two of them had grown up beside each other, too... until their early twenties, when they each decided to go down their own paths. Abby married Clarke's father, and he... well, he watched them from the sideline. He watched her build a, what everyone had always thought, successful marriage, with a beautiful and incredibly intelligent daughter, as had been proven.

Despite the fact that he had loved her his entire life, never had a word been said about Marcus' immense feelings towards her, or hers towards him, or if she had any, for that matter. Sometimes, he could swear that he saw just a small hint of the feelings he had for her in the way she behaved towards him, and, other times, he was certain that Abby didn't feel for him that way. He had been a calm and shy boy, whereas Jake had been a troublemaker and a bold daredevil... and exactly what Abigail wanted and maybe needed.

By the time Marcus Kane was a man with a shred of self-confidence, Abby and Jake had already been engaged, and it had been too later for him to say the things he hadn't been able to say as a young boy.

He had lived his life being in love with her but not being with her, for her own good. He never would have even dreamed of getting in the way of her happiness, her marriage. Then again, even if she and Jake hadn't been married, by the time that they had become actual adults, both of them had changed, and they hadn't had had a lot of common grounds anymore. She had become a troublemaker, much like Jake, and he an abider of the rules. A small smile crossed his features, as he thought of how in love Octavia and Lincoln obviously were, she a 'sky person' as they called the people from the ark, and he a grounder. They were less alike than Abby and he, but they had a youthful boldness Marcus Kane didn't possess anymore. As he eyed her, covered in dust but beautiful still, he wished he had been that way as well in his youth.

Abby smiled as she saw his lips curve and looked in the eyes of the forty-four-year-old man she had known as a boy. Both of them had been intelligent, but Marcus had been a more behaved version, and she the rebellious one. They had balanced each other well: she had very often encouraged Marcus to 'live his life', and he had often stopped her from being too rebellious, especially in their teenage years. Jake had somehow spoken to her in another way. He had been all that Marcus wasn't, and he had fueled her daredevil behavior instead. By adulthood, most of that behavior had disappeared, though, and definitely when they got married and then had a baby girl.

Marcus coughed and felt his ribs ache. He felt as if he was dying, and he was sure he would if he didn't get from the rubble soon. Abby was alone as far as he could tell, and she was not strong enough physically to free him and save him. He squeezed the hand that she had taken in hers. "Abby."

"Marcus."

"Abby," he said, and a wince sounded as he coughed ── another cloud of dust that he had inhaled and that had settled on his lungs. "I love you, always have and always shall. I wasn't man enough to tell you when we grew up, and then when you met Jake, I decided to let my feelings remain undisclosed. He seemed better for you. Then he died, and I couldn't tell you then either. You gave him up to protect your people, with the rules I enforced. I never meant to tell you, but right now... We've come from the sky on this planet after so many years and... I don't know if I will live to see──"

"Marcus, don't say that," Abby interrupted.

He continued in a slightly louder tone, "I don't know if I will be able to see the end result of it all, and I just... wanted you to know the truth." When he saw the look in Abby's eyes and the way that she shook her head as he said the words, he reasoned, "I know the truth isn't everything. I know that it can mean heartache and harsh and unnecessary consequences that are not to be overseen, but if I don't survive, whatever consequences it brings won't matter anymore, anyway."

A salty tear slipped down Abigail Griffin's cheek as she let her eyes lock onto Marcus' again and saw the boy he had once been as well as the man that he had become in the figure before her. "You can't let go. You have to hold on," Abby managed in a rather strangled voice at the idea he might not make it. It couldn't be an option. "You'll be okay. You've got to be, because... I love you, too."

Looking into Abby's eyes, Marcus Kane knew that she hadn't told him only to please a dying man. He saw the truth in the way she looked at him and heard it in her voice. Abby and he had wasted so much time. That is when he heard the sounds of other people, of help, and he smiled up at Abby, who returned the gesture. Maybe they would get a bit more time either way.


End file.
